The bizarre is all around us. There was a time — not too long ago — when science fiction was science fiction. These days, tales of the wild and wacky aren't so much literature as — the evening news.

What news, you ask? How about the University of Washington researchers that recently announced a contact lens that can project images right in front of your eyes. It sounds like something out of a James Bond film, but the lenses will eventually provide an always-on terminal to the virtual world — and a way for the man to keep tabs on you. Who needs Blofeld with gadgets like these?

Speaking of Bond, there's more news out of The U that would make the master-spy smile. UW researchers have developed a camera so small it can be swallowed — and it's only a couple hundred dollars a pop. While the intended use is to detect esophageal cancer, we're sure it won't be long until the clandestine camera finds its way to more surreptitious surroundings.

On the subject of the clandestine, last weekend's curious cable catastrophes are still on the minds of conspiracy buffs everywhere, with everything from terrorists to a U.S. invasion being floated as the cause. Surely nobody believes any of it, but just in case, the replacement cable is being laid through a different route.

Before we stray too far from human-implanted-technology, MIT has unveiled a proof-of-concept for a microchip capable of being powered by body heat. Purportedly designed with ultra-efficient pacemakers and other medical modules in mind, we're betting it won't be long until someone's using it to implant an iPod in their tuchus. Of course, the playlist will show up conveniently through their contacts.

And good news for the technophiles whose cell phones seem to have grafted onto their heads. A new study out of Japan finds that they won't be dying of brain tumors — or if they do, it won't be caused by their endless yapping. No word on the likelihood of being beaten to death for obnoxious blathering at every conceivable opportunity.

Finally, in the spirit of the bizarre, an inconceivably peculiar story of a more adult nature. (If you're under 18 or easily disturbed, look away now.) According to The Register, the Linux community are in desperate need of adult accoutrements. They determined this after reviewing the server logs of a website selling adult playthings — logs which showed Linux users spending an average of almost $100 per visit on items our mother won't let us describe in detail — nearly 30% more than the Windows crew. We're guessing it's because we have more time to ourselves, what with not having to repair and reboot all the time.

And on that note, dear readers, good day.