Oh sure, love is a pretty low-tech affair — unless snookums is getting you that new gadget you've been wanting — but the days of tech-free lovin' are looking numbered.

If you've ever wondered what your lover's voice says about their commitment to you, then the latest gizmo out of South Korea was made with you in mind. It's a super-hi-tech phone that claims it can detect affection in your other half's voice. The service — powered by Nemesysco Entertainment — is also available in the US and UK, as well as for Skype and Pocket PC. If you've been thinking that guy trying to get your root password is coming on a bit strong, here's your secret weapon.

If that isn't good enough for you, then the Danes may have the answer with a computer that's after your lustful gaze — and not the one you usually give computers. According to iMotions, it's system measures pupil-dilation to determine if you're really as crazy about your mate as you claim to be. Apparently, it also knows if you're just scared out of your mind — so if you've been sticking around because she's meaner than you, well, it looks like the jig is up.

Finally, if that's not creepy enough for you, then prepare for the latest news from Washington. It's not really about love — quite the opposite, really — but soon the information your lover uses to test your feelings may end up in the FBI's nefarious biometric nightmare. That's right, the budding Big Brother has managed to find a company willing to create its Little Database of Horrors, and it won't be that long until we're all being tracked like Humpback whales.

Now it's time to light some candles, put on some soft music, grab your sweetheart, and get down to some serious...programming. Wait, what did you expect — this is Linux Journal after all!